A Splendorous Post

Recently, I was confronted by the word “splendorous” in an actual book review. Rather than entice me to read the book, the presence of that word made me question the validity of the review: it is my (granted, unprofessional) opinion that to call a book “splendorous” is a serious accusation. This is a word that I don’t imagine gets a lot of use, the sort of word that I personally would only come around to after playing “Six Degrees of Separation” with a thesaurus.

“Okay! I’m writin’ myself a review for a ridiculously awesome book! What’s a synonym for ‘awesome’? (flipping through thesaurus) Let’s see… ‘Tremendous,’ which leads to (flip flip) ‘Superb’? No… (flip flip) ‘Magnificent’ seems promising… (flip) ‘Splendorous’. Hey, that sounds about right.”

In the spirit of fun, I then looked up many other (supposedly) professional book reviews and copied down a few entertaining words. The resulting list, divided into these convenient columns, I now present here for your edification and entertainment.

Create Your Own Bullshit Book Review!

Adjective	Noun	Verb	Thing	Whatever
shocking elegant strange unsettling generous clichéd lyrical melodramatic overheated dense complex piercing tender distinctive memorable flowing musical brilliant splendorous wondrous magical	story intelligence humor language novel characters prose speech heroes closing pages setting dialogue antagonist resolution confrontation theme climax chronicle style chapters prologue	spins establishes manages encapsulates yields up conveys patterns chronicles depicts picks up makes harkens back to decries flaunts portrays recreates balances conjures flashes confuses creates	degeneration myth hopelessness inevitability milestone affirmation hope energy drive intensity impressions paradigm archetype resurgence decline epitome horror fantasy hypothesis regret insight	American West black experience Digital age feminine perspective patriarchal society current economy war in Iraq obesity epidemic New Age demographic Industrial Revolution institution of marriage bi-partisan system housing crisis generation divide trade situation modern rap scene Holocaust urban youth newspaper industry Medieval Europe civil unrest

The (Adjective) (Noun) (Verb)(s) the (Thing) of (the) (Whatever).

The (Noun), while often (Adjective), is never (Adjective).

The (Whatever)is neither (Adjective) nor (Adjective) as the (Noun) (Verb)(s) the (Thing) of literary theory.

The author’s (Noun) of (the) (Whatever) (Verb)(s) the (Adjective) (Thing) of today.

The (Thing) of (the) (Whatever) makes the (Noun) all the more (Adjective).